Running. If I have to assign traits to it, they would be selfish, Western-ish, individualistic. Emphasis selfish and individualistic. If you see my facebook profile picture, it can be quite the exhibitionist sport.
But then yesterday when I was running, primed by the Derrick Rose interview from Slam Magazine, I wasn’t thinking about how fast I needed to run, how much sweat I was incurring, or how cool I looked. I was thinking about the people, the organizations, the networks of people that I’ve come to embody.
It started with me thinking about the census job, I was proud to represent a happy face of government, and a young person of color with a job that seemed pretty important. When I was doing the census, I felt like I was representing not just myself but everyone else in the various parts of my life I’ve become associated.
Same thing happened when I was running yesterday.
I represent my peewee league soccer and basketball teams. I represent my ethnicity. I represent parts of LA. I represent my grade school, high school, colleges. I represent the bullied kids. Being consciousness of these representations, I felt like I was part of something bigger than myself. It’s like my body wasn’t for my unwieldy random-ass consciousness to “control”, but was determined by all those various people and places.
Suddenly, the San Fernando Valley sun wasn’t so overbearing. Movements, not staggered, not forced, but fluid. My legs could go on for a marathon in heat that would burn ugly into oogly.
* * * * *
“You’ll get there faster traveling by yourself, but you’ll get farther, traveling with others.”
I’ve known that from before. But every now and then, I forget. I forget that I’m not everything and that I’m just part of everything…
Does that forgetting have to do with my quarter-life craze to establish my legitimacy, my credibility, my abilities, my relatively new identity to outside entities via job interviews, application essays